I'm a Minister.... Get me out of here!

Special thanks to crossboy for this email he sent us. It would be funnier if the joke wasnt on us, the viewers/voters.

As reality tv show "I'm a celebrity... get me out of here" starts again, this blog cant help but ponder what an Irish themed version of the show would be like. The Irish version would not have to bother drafting in Z-list celebrities, aging sports stars and models to provide entertainment when we have a circus troop of state paid entertainers already plying their trade in Leinster House, and who would be only too happy to get any chance to publicise themselves. Yes folks, meet the stars of "I'm a minister...get me out of here", Ireland's grossfest reality tv show that you really hate to watch and just know will end up being won by the loudest eejit taking part.
First up is John Gormley, a man who would irritate the fleas off a dogs back. John has to jump out of a plane above camp, but for your entertainment, the other contestants boot him out without his parachute. Only Gormley could float down on his own over inflated sense of esteem. He lands safely in camp, determined to pass a bill banning grub hunting.
Next up is Enda Kenny, an early favourite, until people get to know him and realise hes a complete prat. Enda is voted out but refuses to accept the result, challenging the validity of this early poll. For your entertainment. After being escorted off the set by security, he tells anyone who'll listen that it was another Richard Bruton plot against him. "I'm a minister" presenters Sean Fitzpatrick and Michael McDowell smile at the camera and introduce contestant number 3, Mary Harney.
Mary becomes a national hate figure when in a fit of madness caused by two hours of hunger, she succumbs to cannibalism and eats John Gormley. For the rest of the show she enjoys a will they/wont they romantic tension with Offaly Pig collector and Taoiseach, Brian Cowen. For your entertainment. In the end he chooses Jackie Healy Rae, whom he seduces with a new hospital and brown paper envelope factory for Kenmare.
The show is won by an eccentric egocentric young man named Eamon Gilmore, who wins the nations heart with his boyish good looks and deep media connections. After he completes his final task, swallowing Fianna Fails BS about the necessity of cuts in Budget 2011 and keeping his blindfold on while Ireland's most vulnerable drown, hes the shoe in for the winners prize. He receives his winners crown from Jose Manuel Barroso. For your entertainment.